Compression Shorts: A Push-Up Bra for Your Butt
Written by: Coach Slater
This post isn’t for everyone. But, if you’ve ever dinged your package on a barbell during snatches and felt that uncomfortable puke-sensation in your stomach… then this post could be for you.
If you’re still working out in tighty whitey’s or boxer briefs, then it’s time to get your life together. You’re not in high school P.E. class anymore. You’ve graduated from your dorky-days and your underwear game needs to graduate, too.
True story: in high school, a friend’s parents had a picture on their fireplace mantle of him running in a cross-country race. Back then, high-shorts and underwear with poorly-performing elastic were the standard fare. What his parents failed to recognize in the picture was that he had a ball hanging out as he was mid-stride. That pic stood on that mantle for yearsssss. One ball left waving hello to friends, grandparents, neighbors, and none of them ever noticed. But, we knew. Do his balls hang lower today because he didn’t wear compression shorts back then? I’m not a doctor. But probably yea!
Also, no one is trying to accidentally get a glimpse of what you have going on when you’re doing Glute Bridges or Kettlebell Swings. Compression shorts keep everything under control. You can tuck things where they need to be so you don’t accidentally smack anything on yourself. And you can find them just about anywhere nowadays, appropriate for any budget, from Target to Nike.com. Do you HAVE to wear them when you workout? No, but you also don’t have to PR your next back squat test.
Ok, so maybe you the support the idea of compression shorts, but you don’t want to buy separate sets of them. Luckily, tons of companies are now making shorts with compression liners included – just check out Chubbies, Lululemon, or Ten Thousand. That’s like getting two separate items for the price of one. Who doesn’t love a good deal?
Also, consider this quote from Coach Phil, “Compression shorts are like a push-up bra for your butt.” You’ve worked really hard to build a booty through heavy deadlifts, kettlebell swings, lunges, and the like. You should be proud of it; and, it’s ok if you want to frame it in the best possible fashion with compression shorts. Keep that peach looking right mid-workout, and keep everything else in its right place.
Do the right thing. Upgrade to compression shorts.